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2026.08.16 (August 16, 2026) – Pastor Peter Ziebell
I have attended and watched quite a few funerals online lately and have been thinking about them ever since. Why? Let me explain.
Often, at funerals, we hear all about the deceased’s life in their obituary. I guess it’s a time for reflection on that person’s life. It’s funny, though, because while the person is alive, not all things said or thought about him are good, but once they die, the obituary never says anything bad about them! And I sometimes cringe when someone presenting the obituary says something off-cut about that person that isn’t appropriate to say, especially if the funeral is being held in the Lord’s house.
But what bothers me most is what pastors say or don’t say at funerals. Christian funerals should be somewhat like the one Jesus attended in Nain mentioned in Luke 7.
There, we find Jesus travelling to Nain with His disciples and a crowd. As they draw near, they encounter a funeral procession; a man had died, leaving his mother alone. Jesus sees her grieving, approaches, and speaks to her gently. What did He say?
Let us take a moment to consider what Jesus did not say. Jesus did not remark to the woman, “Here, now. I have heard that your son was a good man. I heard that he was a good employee and a volunteer who assisted the needy. I have heard that he was talented in telling jokes and making others feel comfortable.”
Jesus did not say that. Perhaps He said, “Dear woman, don’t worry, God needed another angel. Your son is now watching over you with a smile. Let’s celebrate his life instead of mourning. Focusing on his good qualities and achievements keeps things light, as death makes people uncomfortable.”
No, Jesus did not say this either. So, what did our Lord say that day?
Jesus was filled with compassion, the kind that grips the gut. Being filled with compassion for the woman, this led Him to touch the dead body and say, “Do not weep…. Young man, I say to you, arise” (Luke 7:13, 14).
And just like that, the dead son sat up and began to speak, and Jesus returned the son to the mother.
Let me be blunt. Pastors sin against their flocks, especially during funeral services when the focus is on the deceased’s personality, qualities, or achievements. The pastor’s sin is grievous when his words target only the dead person’s personal traits.
It may sound harsh, but making a funeral solely about the deceased is unkind. Since they are dead, their personality, qualities, and achievements can’t change that. Remembering their traits is nice, but can’t revive them. Celebrating their qualities may inspire pride, but won’t raise them. Highlighting achievements is impressive, but can’t pull them out of the grave.
Does this mean that we shouldn’t mention the deceased at all in funerals?
Not at all. Early in my ministry, I heard a family was upset after a funeral because Pastor Ziebell didn’t mention their loved one (let’s call him Bob). I felt condemned until I checked the sermon, where I said Bob’s name over six times. So, what was the issue?
The issue was merely that Bob was not afforded the central focus at the funeral or within the sermon. The words articulated did not pertain to Bob, but rather to Jesus, who was and remains relevant for Bob.
So, to the point: at funerals, we do not talk about the deceased, for that does nothing to ease the sting of death. Rather, we talk about Jesus, who conquers death for us and gives us everlasting life.
That day at Nain, Jesus told the woman, “Do not weep.” He did this not to be unsympathetic. No, with Christ, death was not the end for her son, and death is not the end for us at our funerals as well.
At my funeral, if you outlive me, I kindly ask you to show compassion to my family. Then, please bury me and say, “Peter Ziebell was a poor miserable sinner. But he is also someone Christ has redeemed, not with gold or silver, but with His precious blood. Because Jesus lives, Peter Ziebell will be resurrected on the last day, free from sin and blemish.”
Yes, I beg you: talk about Jesus. I am dust, but Jesus resurrects dust. My family’s comfort won’t come from my memory but from Jesus’s work on my behalf.
You see, it is only Jesus and the promise of His resurrection that can and will do anything about death. And it is only Jesus and His resurrection that grant comfort at funerals.
It just does not make sense for a pastor to spend an entire funeral talking about the deceased’s accomplishments when He could spend the whole time talking about what Jesus accomplished on the deceased’s behalf.
Perhaps a fair concern at this point is this: is it wrong to remember a person’s personality, qualities, and achievements? Absolutely not! We should pray that the Lord would bless their memory. But here is the point: this is not the main focus of a funeral.
When that dead man encountered Jesus at Nain, Jesus was the One speaking, on centre stage, showing compassion and giving hope to the woman. At every funeral, you need to hear from Jesus through His Word—about forgiveness, His remembrance in the grave, His promise to resurrect the deceased and the baptised on the last day, and His restoration of the dead to life and reunion with loved ones in Christ. Death can no longer separate you.
Just imagine how wonderful it will be on the Last Day when Jesus says, “I say to you, arise,” and the dead in Christ rise from their graves to receive eternal life. We shall all be together in Jesus’ presence, celebrating with renewed bodies while we rejoice that Jesus has conquered sin, death, and the devil. We’ll shout, laugh, jump, and giggle like happy children, because Jesus has called us out of death, wiped away all our tears, and given us everlasting life—together forever!
The story of Nain is a clear picture of our hope in the presence of death. And this hope needs to be shared at funerals by pastors and heard by the grieving, not denied.